Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The Red Eye Report's 2010 October Horrorthon #13: "The Last Supper" (2005)

If plastic surgeons were rock stars, Dr. Yuji Kotorida (Masaya Kato) would be at least an Allman brother. A man whose surgical prowess has earned him the nickname of "God-Hand," the doc has made out well for someone who started out as a meek med student. But little does a visiting TV crew know about the true secret behind his good fortune: old-fashioned cannibalism. One bag of fat stolen on impulse kick-started Dr. Yuji's hunger, and from then on, his appetite for the human body grew and grew. Conveniently, Yuji has chronicled his history on an anonymous blog, which he kindly narrates for the viewers at home. From finding his first full meal to attending an underground dinner in Hong Kong, Yuji details how dining on nubile young women has changed his world for the better -- a lifestyle that, with the arrival of a curious cop, is about to become much harder to maintain.

Y'know, The Last Supper is guilty of many things, but false advertising isn't one of them. Twenty minutes in, and that noggin on the cover is staring right back at Yuji as he munches on what was probably her favorite thumb. Just reading the premise had images of The Untold Story dancing in my head, but while it is about as gruesome, The Last Supper lacks the right sense of humor, arresting performances, or anything that might help make it a halfway enjoyable experience. Long story short, the flick is a total bore, and it's a lazy one at that. You might not think that of something that serves up the flesh-eating equivalent of Eyes Wide Shut's orgy scene, but it's incredible how remarkably dull such an odd premise has been rendered. The Last Supper mainly consists of Dr. Yuji narrating blog entries, and what do his reasons for turning to cannibalism amount to? "Because." But don't worry, there's some gratuitous religious imagery that helps give the story a first-class seat on the Pretension Express.

Yuji just isn't that fascinating of a character, neither as anti-hero or target of satire, which he easily could've been. A guy paid to carve up women takes his job to the extreme when he's off-duty? The Last Supper could've ripped the likes of Dr. 90210 a new one, but instead, it pulls the character study card, which, in this case, means Yuji moping around and giving hollow excuses as to why Mrs. Yoshita is missing a torso. Kato's performance isn't the worst, but he definitely needs a charisma transfusion, and between those consumed by Yuji and those who appear whenever they damn well please, it's not worth getting attached to the supporting cast either. Not even the gore scenes provide any satisfaction, as you're either too grossed out by organs being flat-out shoved at the camea or laughing too hard at the many amusingly fake decapitations.

Don't be fooled by the lurid cover; The Last Supper is just another feckless attempt to cash in on horror buffs in search of the next big shock. Japanese hottie on a bed of lettuce aside, it's a pretty boring affair, not diabolical enough to make the gore fly or intelligent enough for what it calls "observations" to hold any water. Maybe this is a sign of how jaded a genre fan I've become, but The Last Supper goes to show that if you've seen one cannibal chef on the loose, you've sure as hell seen 'em all.

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